Stefanie Stahl
Psychotherapist, speaker and author
»Communication is overrated! It can do a lot, but it cannot overcome all rifts «
Ms. Stahl, can constructive discussions save a relationship?
I always say: communication is overrated! It can do many things, but it cannot overcome all rifts. Imagine two people sitting in a skyscraper in New York. One on the fiftieth, the other on the third floor. One looks over the whole city, the other only sees the Coke advertisement from across the street. Now the two should agree on a common reality. That won't work as long as one has only the third and the other only the fiftieth floor on his radar. There can only be a constructive exchange if both can understand: “Ah, I'm on the fiftieth, you're on the third floor.” And vice versa.
But if someone is not reflected at all, but identifies completely with his inner program, then the third floor, the Coke advertising, is the only possible truth for him. He doesn't realize that it's just his individual view of the world. And communication can only work as well as both partners are able to reflect. For a happy, successful life, it is very, very important to practice self-reflection.
You can find the entire interview with Stefanie Stahl in our book:
To person
Stefanie Stahl (born 1963) is a qualified psychologist and author in private practice in Trier. She is one of Germany's best-known psychotherapists. She regularly gives lectures and seminars on her specialty areas of fear of attachment, partnership and self-esteem. She has been on the German bestseller lists for years with her books, such as “Das Kind in dir muss heimat”. Their online courses including personal support can be found on their homepage www.stefaniestahl.de
"The child in you must find a home" (Kailash Verlag)
Everyone longs to be accepted and loved. Ideally, during our childhood we develop the necessary self-confidence and basic trust that will carry us through life as adults. But even the hurts we experience are imprinted and unconsciously determine our entire relationship life. In her bestseller, Stefanie Stahl describes her approach to working with the inner child in a way that is easy to understand: When we make friends with him, there are amazing opportunities to solve conflicts, make relationships happier and find an answer to (almost) every problem.